A Hidden Truth Read online

  “Influenza?” I clasped a hand to my chest. “What if we should contract the illness and bring it back to the village? The effects could be horrible. I do not think my Mutter would understand if I intentionally took such a risk. My brothers died of pneumonia, and if something happened, she would—”

  “My mother died of influenza, and neither my father nor I got sick. And you didn’t become ill when your brothers contracted pneumonia. Just because we go and help them doesn’t mean we’ll get sick.” She leaned forward and gathered my hands in hers. “Giving them medicine is the right thing to do, Karlina. Is it not what the Bible teaches us to do? Are the rules about not going off the land more important than people who need help?”

  “I do not know.” I withdrew my hands from her clasp and leaned back. “I have never been faced with such a decision.” I rocked back and forth on the edge of the bed. “In order to help you, I must disobey my parents and the church. This goes against everything I have been taught.”

  “Not everything, Karlina. You have learned God’s Word. Tell me that what I am asking you to do is not in the Bible.” Dovie pinned me with a hard stare.

  “To help the sick and needy is a directive from the Bible, but to obey your parents is also an instruction I should follow. I am torn.” I bowed my head and stared at the pine floor. “I will pray and seek God’s answer.”

  “What if you don’t have an answer by tomorrow? They could die.”

  I lifted my head and met her beseeching gaze. “Even with our help, they may die, Dovie. Their future is in God’s hands, not ours.”

  “But sometimes God wants our help. He expects us to be His hands, don’t you think?”

  My stomach knotted. Dovie could present a better argument than anyone I’d ever met. But my answer needed to come from God—not Dovie Cates, for I would have much to explain should any of us become ill. “I must pray and seek God’s answer. Unless I believe it is God’s will for me to go to the Sedlacek farm, I will not go with you.” I wrung my hands together, and for the first time I wished Dovie hadn’t come to our village. If anything happened, I might never again gain my mother’s trust.

  All during prayer meeting, I prayed about the problem Dovie had dumped in my lap. I prayed the Sedlacek family would get well without my help—that a miracle would heal all of them during the night and that Jakub would be waiting at the pond to tell Dovie she need not come to their house. I prayed for wisdom to do the correct thing and for God to direct my path. On the way home, I prayed Dovie would accept whatever decision the Lord placed on my heart. When I went to bed, I prayed God would provide a clear answer so that I would act in a manner that would please Him.

  And I also prayed God would answer all of my prayers by morning.

  CHAPTER 23

  Dovie

  I did my very best to refrain from mentioning Jakub and his family, but when morning arrived and Karlina recited her morning prayers, I couldn’t help but watch and wait—hoping that God had told her to help the Sedlaceks. She finished her prayers and when she turned, I was staring at her. I didn’t miss the worry that shone in her eyes before she looked away. I hadn’t intended to cause her greater distress; I merely longed to hear that she had received a directive from above.

  When she continued to avoid me, I stood and straightened my skirt. I had mended the tear and brushed the remains of dirt from the garment last evening. “My skirt looks almost as good as new, don’t you think?”

  Karlina eyed the garment. “Almost, but not gut enough that it won’t be noticed. You should put your apron on before the others arrive.” The bell on the bread wagon jangled in the distance, and she looked toward the window. “There is Berndt. You’d better hurry.”

  I didn’t want to hurry. I didn’t want to see Berndt at all. I worried he might ask me if I’d been with Jakub, or he might attempt to trick me into admitting I had gone to the Sedlacek farm. Maybe if I waited upstairs long enough, Cousin Louise would go out and get the bread.

  At least that’s what I’d been hoping until her voice floated up the stairs. “Hurry, Dovie. The bread wagon will soon be here, and I am grinding coffee.”

  I started toward the bedroom door. “We can talk later.” When Karlina didn’t reply, I glanced over my shoulder. She was kneeling beside her bed, head bowed, hands folded, and eyes closed. She’d already recited her morning prayers, so I knew she must be pleading with God for an answer to my request. My prayers this morning hadn’t been near as long as hers. I was depending on the fact that God knew and understood the importance of this mission. But just to be sure, I uttered another soulful plea as I trudged down the stairs. Slowly I crossed the distance, still dreading my meeting with Berndt.

  I stepped across the threshold and leaned against the doorjamb. “Guten Morgen, Cousin Louise.”

  “Guten Morgen.” She smiled and gestured toward the door. “I think Berndt has arrived.”

  Berndt had already climbed down from the wagon and had opened the rear doors. The smell of the freshly baked bread greeted me like a warm embrace, and I took a deep breath.

  “Guten Morgen, Dovie.” Berndt’s voice bore an unfamiliar tone—more formal than usual. “You were not at the pond when I arrived yesterday. Where did you go?”

  Instead of meeting his intense stare, I kept my focus on the bread trays inside the wagon. “You weren’t there when I arrived, either.” He quickly explained what Karlina had already told me. I wanted to grab the bread trays and flee inside, but his broad hands remained clamped along the edge of the pans. “Cousin Louise is waiting for the bread.”

  “And I am waiting for an answer. Where did you go?”

  Finally I met his hard look. “I went for a walk up along the hillside. Too late, I realized that I had gone beyond the Amana boundaries. But good fortune prevailed, and Jakub Sedlacek appeared and led me back to the pond.” He remained silent, his eyes dark and brooding. “You remember Jakub, don’t you? He and his sister skated at the pond this winter. And he helps Cousin George with the shearing sometimes. At least that’s what Karlina told me when we first met him.”

  I was rambling like a fool, but he continued to stare. He didn’t blink, not even once. “I think he helps during lambing sometimes, too. Cousin George says he is a good worker and a nice young man.”

  “And what about you, Dovie? Do you think he is a nice young man?”

  “Y-yes, of course I do. He was most courteous, and I was thankful for his help.”

  “And did you enjoy his embrace?” He leaned forward an inch or two. “Did he kiss you while you were up there on the hillside with him?”

  Anger fired deep inside me. How dare he say such a thing! I backed away from him and squared my shoulders into a rigid line. “What kind of woman do you take me for, Berndt? Do you think so little of me that you would accuse me of unseemly behavior with a near stranger? If so, why do you care what I do with my free time?” Hands clenched into tight fists, I stared at him and waited for his reply. My searing words proved strong enough that he finally blinked.

  “I asked because I saw you on the hillside with Jakub.” He tapped his index finger alongside his right eye. “He had his arms around you, and it didn’t appear you were trying to run away from him.”

  I had clamped my teeth so hard that my jaw ached. “You’re right. I wasn’t trying to run away. I slipped on a rock, and if Jakub hadn’t assisted me, I might have fallen and broken a bone. In your mind, I suppose that would have been a better outcome.”

  “I do not think it would be gut for you to break a bone, but I do think you should have remained within the boundaries of our land. I told you our land didn’t go beyond the hill. If you hadn’t climbed up there, none of this would have happened.”

  “And if you had arrived on time, I wouldn’t have gone wandering. But neither of us can change what is in the past.” I glanced toward the house. “I need to take the bread inside before Cousin Louise comes looking for me.”

  When I reached for the tray, he covered my
hand. “Will you meet me this afternoon? I promise to be on time.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t, Berndt. I promised Karlina I would spend the afternoon with her.”

  He pulled his cap from his pocket and yanked the bill low over his eyes. “I have forgiven you, but you are still angry.”

  “I cannot tell you that I am not hurt by your accusations, but I forgive you. Still, I cannot change my plans with Karlina.” I lifted the tray from the wagon.

  “Then later in the week?”

  “Perhaps. Let’s wait and see before we make plans. It is better if we are both sure we will be free before we set another time and day.”

  His lips drooped. “I think you are maybe still a little angry. Maybe you will be pleased to have my company on a day when Karlina is busy in the barn. Soon they will be shearing the sheep, and she will be needed at the barn all day.”

  I nodded and smiled, for I needed to be careful. I wanted him to understand I was no longer angry, but I didn’t want to give him a definite answer until I knew how things would go with the Sedlacek family. If Berndt should again see me leaving the boundaries of the Amana land, he might decide to say something to the elders. If that happened, they would no doubt elect to put me on a train bound for Texas. They would not want to be responsible for a young woman who did not follow the rules.

  Karlina didn’t say anything to me before she left for the barn after breakfast, so I waited for some sign when she returned for the noonday meal, but she passed by me as if I were invisible. It was my day to serve, and each time I entered the dining room with fresh bowls or platters of food, I watched to see if she might look in my direction. When she didn’t, my spirit flagged. Without her, I wouldn’t be much help to the Sedlaceks. She knew much more about treating sick animals and people than I did. But if she hadn’t received a nudge from the Lord, I was certain she wouldn’t help.

  I dreaded carrying such bad news to Jakub. Shoulders sagging, I leaned against the sink and tried to gather my thoughts. What would I say to him?

  After the meal was over and the parting prayer was being recited, I hurried to the kitchen and poured some beef broth into a small crock. Even if Karlina wouldn’t go with me, I wanted to take some broth to Jakub’s family. After I filled the crock, I wrapped it in a towel and placed it near the side door. Shortly after I returned to the kitchen, Karlina stepped across the threshold.

  “Mutter, if you do not need Dovie’s help this afternoon, I thought we would take a walk. It’s a beautiful afternoon, and I could show her some of the distant pastures.”

  Cousin Louise’s eyebrows knit together. “Not too distant. You know your Vater was talking last night about the wild dogs causing problems again. Now that the lambs are born, they have become bolder.”

  Karlina tipped her head to the side. “Ja, Mutter. I am aware of the dogs. I work with the sheep all the time.”

  “I know, but it is better that I warn you.” She picked up an armful of dirty plates and carried them to Sister Marta, who was intently scrubbing the dishes and dropping them into the rinse water. “A gut reminder will keep you more alert.”

  “You are right, Mutter. And I’ll be sure to take along a thick walking stick for protection.”

  Her mother nodded her approval. “Both of you should take one. Two is better than one.” Her forehead wrinkled, as if considering her comment. “Well, most of the time two is better than one, but not in childbirth, for sure.”

  “Sister Louise!” Sister Bertha spun on her heel and glowered at Cousin Louise. “We do not talk about such things.”

  “Ach! We are all women. There is nothing shameful about what I said, but if you wish to take it before the elders, I cannot stop you.”

  Clearly flustered, Sister Bertha wiped her wet hands on the corner of her apron. “I did not say I was going to speak to the elders. I only said childbirth was not a topic we should discuss openly.”

  Sister Marta picked up a towel and began to dry the dishes. “You worry too much about the little things, Sister Bertha.”

  While the women continued their lively discussion, Karlina stepped close to her mother’s side. “We will sort the mail before we leave.”

  Her mother patted her arm. “Danke, Karlina. You are a gut girl.”

  Karlina waved me toward the small adjacent room and motioned to the mailbag sitting on the table. “You sort the mail while I see what medicine is in the cabinet. I hope I can find something that might help Jakub’s family.”

  Until she’d actually mentioned Jakub’s family, I’d been holding my emotions in check. But once she said she was going to look for medicine, I couldn’t contain myself. I spun her around and pulled her close. “Oh, thank you, thank you! This means so much to me, to Jakub, to his family.”

  Karlina pushed against my shoulders. “You’re squeezing the breath out of me, Dovie. And you need to keep your voice down. Sister Bertha has big ears, remember?”

  I released my hold on her. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “But I’m glad the Lord answered our prayers. Did you receive some special sign?”

  She gave me a sideways glance. “Nein. I’m still not sure this is what I am supposed to be doing, but I told the Lord that if everything worked so that we could go to the farm without interference, I would take it as a sign He wanted me to help.”

  I pointed to the crock I had placed near the door. “That’s broth to take to them. Even if you decided against going with me, I knew I must do something.”

  Karlina didn’t comment. Instead, she pointed to the mail pouch. “You need to begin sorting.”

  I poured the mail onto the table and sorted as quickly as my hands would move. “So far, things are going well. I’ll keep praying that nothing will stop us from helping the Sedlaceks.”

  Karlina fished in the drawer and retrieved a key for the medicine cabinet. I continued to sort the mail, quickly shoving the envelopes into the proper cubbyholes. From time to time, I darted a glance toward Karlina as she searched through the bandages, bottles of medicine, and instruments. I silently gave thanks as she stuffed several items into a cloth bag. She completed her task and moved to my side. As soon as we finished the mail, she nodded toward the side door.

  “We’ll go out this way.” She tucked the cloth bag beneath her cloak and pushed down on the metal hasp.

  “Wait. Shouldn’t we take some wine to them? I remember the doctor instructed me to give my mother small sips of wine.”

  Karlina nodded. “I have some in the bag. You’ll need to carry the crock of broth. I hope you have an answer prepared if someone should stop us and ask questions.”

  Though I hadn’t even thought to prepare a response, I forced my lips into a smile and hoped it would be enough to reassure Karlina. While doing my best to balance the crock, I maintained a careful watch on the bulge beneath Karlina’s cloak. I didn’t want her bag to fall to the ground on our way. “Thank you, Karlina. I am so happy you decided to help.”

  “We haven’t arrived yet. The Lord may stop us before we get there. If so, don’t argue with me, for I will not change my mind.” She gave me a hard look. “Are we in agreement?”

  I didn’t want to agree, but I did. There really was no choice. If I hadn’t, she would have turned around and gone home right then. I couldn’t let that happen. “I think Jakub will be watching for us. He was very worried when I left yesterday.”

  “I hope he remains hidden. The last thing we need is for him to stand on the ridge waving to us. If someone sees us or him, we’re going to have no end of trouble on our hands.” She shook her head. “I don’t know why I agreed to do this.” When we neared the outlying edge of the village, Karlina withdrew the cloth bag from beneath her cape and held it by the drawstring.

  “How were you holding the bag in place?”

  “It wasn’t difficult. I placed the drawstring over my shoulder and held the bag beneath my arm.”

  “You’re just full of good ideas, aren’t you?” I’d almost said “sneaky” ideas, but I
knew Karlina wouldn’t be pleased by such a comment.

  “We can’t be gone too long. No matter how sick they are, we need to get back before anyone comes looking for us. On the way back, I think we should circle through the far pasture just in case Berndt or Anton should decide to come and find us.”

  I didn’t argue. I thought it a good idea. “Anton is doing much better with the sheep, isn’t he?”

  Karlina nodded. “Ja. He is very pleased about the feeding machine. It works very well. He better controls his temper, too. I think he is content for now.”

  “Just for now?” I grinned and nudged her. “I think he will be happy to remain in East. By the time the summer is over, I think he will be asking your father if he can marry you.”

  Her face turned crimson and she looked away. “You are always thinking about love.”

  “When a man looks at a woman the way Anton looks at you, it is impossible to ignore. I am sure your father sees it, as well.” We began our hike up the hillside, and I pointed to the outcropping. “Be careful. That’s where I fell yesterday.”

  Had it been only yesterday? It seemed so long ago since I’d made the trek up this hill with Jakub by my side. I hoped that his family had fared well during the night. As we continued on, my mind wandered back to my mother’s final illness. Nighttime had always been the most frightening, both for her and for me. Everything always seemed worse during the night.

  “I am glad Jakub isn’t anywhere in sight.”

  Karlina’s comment interrupted my thoughts and brought me back to the present. Looking up, I scoured the top of the hillock. We were almost at the top when I caught sight of a plaid jacket. “There’s Jakub over behind that stand of trees. I’m sure he’s seen us and is waiting.”

  “Don’t call to him,” Karlina hissed. “There’s an echo from up here. Anyone below would hear.”

  I nodded. As long as she remained and helped, I wouldn’t object to any of Karlina’s directives. She could command and I would obey. When we reached the top of the hill, I stopped long enough to catch my breath, but Karlina continued to march onward.