A Simple Change Read online

  My father massaged his forehead, but the deep creases remained. “We are planning to move away from Kansas City. To Iowa. Back to the Amana Colonies.”

  My mouth turned dry and I stared at him. Surely I’d misunderstood.

  Chapter 2

  I attempted to make sense of what I’d just heard, but I simply couldn’t. My father’s announcement made no sense. My clenched fingers ached and turned chalky as I waited for further explanation.

  My father patted my hands. “I know this comes as a bit of a surprise, but we didn’t want to say anything until we’d made a final decision. Of course, we haven’t received permission yet, so there is a possibility we won’t be able to return. But your mother thought we should tell you so that you would have time to make your own plans.”

  My mind spun like a whirling top. “I don’t understand.” At the moment, I couldn’t even think of an intelligent question.

  “Of course you don’t.” My mother touched my father’s sleeve. “You must start at the beginning, Jurgen.”

  My father frowned. “I’m not so sure where the beginning is, but I will do my best.” He leaned back and inhaled a deep breath. “I suppose this all began with the onset of your mother’s illness.”

  I nodded and urged him to continue.

  “The doctor was here again today. Over the past few weeks, he has told us that your mother’s condition has worsened, and there is nothing that can be done for her.”

  Fear and anger collided like a raging storm within me. “Then we should find another doctor. I don’t believe him.”

  My mother shook her head. “You don’t want to believe him, but what he says is true. I have no desire to be probed and checked by any more doctors. Each one has told us the same thing.” Her gaze rested on my clenched hands. “Becoming angry at the doctor or my illness won’t change my condition.”

  How could she remain so calm? And why were they thinking of returning to Iowa? Neither of them had mentioned the Amana Colonies in years—unless they’d been privately talking about the past. That must be it. Making such a drastic decision couldn’t have been something they’d decided in the past few hours. Though they hadn’t included me, there was little doubt they’d been making plans for some time now. I’d usually been included when my parents considered matters of importance, especially those that would affect all of us. I wanted to ignore the feeling of betrayal, but a pang of resentment had already taken hold.

  “If you are as ill as the doctor says, you should be here where you can receive proper medical care. Why would you even consider traveling? To move at this time would create a tremendous hardship on both of you.”

  My father tapped his index finger against his lips. “If you will let me talk, I will tell you.”

  I curled my lips inward, determined to remain silent, and nodded for him to speak.

  “Your mother longs to spend her final days in the familiar surroundings of the colonies. We still have friends living there, and it would give her joy to reunite with them. There is a simple life in Amana that she longs to experience once again.” My father stood and crossed the room. He stared out the window for a moment and then turned to face me. “The move will not be difficult. We won’t take much. I’ll have some of the furniture shipped, but our needs will be supplied once we are there. Unless you want to remain in the house, we’ll sell it. My lawyer can handle the details.”

  My throat caught at his casual mention of selling the house, and I shuddered at the idea. All our family memories were in this house. “You plan to sell it?”

  My father arched his brows. “Not if you wish to remain here.”

  I didn’t know a great deal about the Amana Colonies. My parents had told me bits and pieces, but I’d never questioned them about their life in Iowa. It had never seemed particularly important to me. Until now. Question after question raced through my mind, yet my lips wouldn’t move.

  My father’s eyebrows settled low on his forehead as he waited for me to respond. “Do you think you would like to remain in the house, Jancey?”

  “Yes. No. I mean, I don’t know what I want. This is so unexpected. The two of you have had time to weigh your decisions, but this is all so . . . so . . . unbelievable.” I turned to my mother and looked deep into her gray eyes. “This is what you desire? To live the remainder of your life in Amana? To leave everything behind?”

  In a period of only a few minutes, my life had been turned upside down. In spite of the warmth from the blazing fireplace, a chill settled over my bones. In that moment I was certain nothing would ever again be the same for us. I wanted to run from the room and return to yesterday and the day before. I didn’t want to continue down this path to an unknown world filled with strangers and a different life.

  My mother bowed her head. “I know this is hard for you, Jancey, and I will understand if you decide to remain in Kansas City. This is the only home you’ve ever known. Adjusting to a different way of living is very difficult, and unless you truly want to come, it is better that you remain here.”

  “But why, Mother? Why do you want to go there after all these years? I don’t understand.” My voice cracked with emotion.

  She looked up, tears glistening in her eyes. “I wish I could explain this need that has come over me.” She patted her hand on her chest. “It is a feeling deep inside that tells me I should return home to Middle Amana. I have tried to ignore the urgency that’s come over me, but it’s been impossible. Your father and I agree that such strong conviction should not be ignored. By us.” My mother added the final two words as she glanced at my father. “And though I would prefer to have you come along, your father and I agree that you should pray and decide what is best for you.”

  I couldn’t imagine God sending me an answer to the many questions that now deluged my mind. “I’d have to leave the children at the orphanage. And there’s Nathan.” I twisted around and looked at my father. “What about the construction company? Are you going to sell the business as well as the house? What will happen to those men who depend upon you for their jobs?” My attempt to speak in a calm manner failed. Instead, my voice tremored in an eerie pitch that exposed my chaotic emotions.

  Father returned to the couch and sat beside me. “I can see your distress. I think we should have waited to tell you until after we received word from the elders. If we don’t receive permission to return, we will have caused you great worry for nothing.” He peered over my shoulder toward my mother. “Your mother and I debated about when was the best time to tell you, but I fear we came to the wrong conclusion.”

  I shook my head with enough vigor to send one of my hairpins flying onto the Axminster carpet. “I disagree. You should have told me much earlier. Had I known from the beginning, I could have digested the news in small doses. Instead, I must swallow it all in one giant gulp.” I touched my throat. “And it isn’t going down very well.”

  My father reached down, retrieved the hairpin, and handed it to me. “It wasn’t our intention to hurt you. We were trying to protect you.”

  The sadness in his voice tugged at my heart. My parents would never intentionally hurt me. Yet how did my father think he had protected me? To argue against what they had done would change nothing for the better. Already I could see my mother flagging under the strain.

  I clasped her hand. “You need to rest. Let me take you to your room.”

  She didn’t disagree and willingly permitted me to help her to bed. When I returned to the sitting room, I expected my father to postpone further discussion until later, but he motioned me forward.

  “Your mother is very tired today. Between the doctor’s visit and her worry over telling you our plans, she’s exhausted.” He glanced toward the hallway. “Would you prefer to stay up here, or shall we go downstairs and finish our talk?”

  “We can go downstairs and I’ll make a pot of coffee.” His smile was enough to tell me I’d given the answer he desired. “But I have many questions.”

  He nodded. “A
nd I will answer them as best I can.”

  The expectation of a warm meal waiting at home had disappeared while I was upstairs with my parents, but once I neared the kitchen and smelled the aroma of a hearty stew, my mouth watered in anticipation.

  I glanced over my shoulder at my father. “Mrs. Oelwine has already gone home?”

  “Yes. Your mother explained that we would be eating late and asked her to prepare something that would remain warm.” He raised his nose and sniffed the air. “Smells like soup or beef stew.”

  Although Mrs. Oelwine could prepare fancy dishes, extravagant meals weren’t served unless we entertained. Neither of my parents enjoyed the social gatherings that had been thrust upon them when my father had become the owner of Forsythe Construction Company, and he’d done his best to expand the business without the trappings of elaborate parties and other social functions attended by business owners in the community.

  After grinding coffee beans and filling the pot with water, I sat down at the kitchen table opposite my father. “I’m not certain what I want to ask first.”

  My father’s eyes radiated understanding. “Upstairs you appeared surprised I would sell the house, so let me explain. Your mother and I agreed that if you decided to come with us, it would be preferable to place the house for sale, as we would no longer have the necessary income to pay taxes or insure the property. In addition, if no one lived here, the house would fall into a state of disrepair. We also considered the possibility of renting it, but that poses an additional set of problems. The rental moneys would not be ours to keep. I would be obligated to donate those funds to the community. In addition, we would still be responsible for taxes, insurance, and maintenance of the property. However, if you decide to remain here, we will deed the house to you.”

  My stomach churned at the thought of such monumental decisions. I stood and walked to the cabinet and removed two cups and saucers. “But then I must worry about all of those expenses you’ve mentioned, and with no salary from the orphanage, I couldn’t possibly manage the upkeep on the house.”

  He nodded. “So now you more clearly understand why I said we would sell the house?”

  While placing the cups and saucers on the table, I halfheartedly admitted my understanding, though I wanted to argue that if they would remain in Kansas City, our lives could continue as usual. Rather than ask God for guidance, perhaps I should pray that the elders deny my parents’ request. A sudden pang of guilt caused me to push the thought aside.

  “You also asked me about the business, and that is an even greater dilemma to solve. With Simon Hartzfeld’s help, I am working on a plan.”

  My father’s lawyer had provided Father with capable guidance for many years, so I was sure Mr. Hartzfeld had developed an excellent plan.

  “What sort of plan, Father? Do the workers already know about this?”

  A slight gleam shone in my father’s blue eyes. “Are you asking because you are concerned about the workers, or because you wonder if Nathan has been keeping secrets from you?”

  “Both.” My one-word response sounded more austere than I’d intended, and I hurried to expand my answer. “Most of the men are married and have families. For them to suddenly hear the news I have just learned would be devastating. How could all of them expect to find work?” Without giving him an opportunity to answer, I continued. “Forsythe Construction is known throughout Kansas City as a flourishing company. I’m certain your employees believe their jobs are secure. You will be dealing a terrible blow to men who have been loyal to you and your business. As for Nathan keeping secrets, I can say it would cause me unease.”

  “Nathan knows nothing of this, so you can lay aside those worries.” My father folded his hands atop the table. “I appreciate your concern for those who work at the construction company. Other than the impact this move would cause for you, those men and their families have been at the forefront of my mind. That is why I’ve been working with Simon. He believes that by the time our current construction contracts have been completed, a qualified buyer will step forward to purchase the business. As part of that contract, we will insist that the workers be retained for a period of one year.”

  Soon the aroma of coffee filled the room, and I pushed away from the table. Wrapping a towel around the handle of the pot, I carried it to the table.

  “And what happens to them after the year has passed?” I inhaled the fragrant aroma as I poured the hot coffee into my father’s cup. “Do you think the new owner will retain them?”

  “Of course. Once the owner observes their abilities, he’d be a fool to let even one of my men go.” He chuckled. “Well, there may be one or two who need to work a little harder, but I think a change in ownership will be just the thing to light a fire under them.”

  After pouring coffee into my own cup, I returned the pot to the stove. “It does sound as though you’ve been giving this a great deal of thought. When do you think you will hear from the elders in Amana?”

  My father shrugged his shoulders. “I can’t say. It could be weeks or months, or it could be tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow?” I inhaled a sharp breath and dropped into the chair.

  “I don’t think we will hear as soon as tomorrow, but you should give the matter much thought and prayer so that you can be at ease when the time arrives.” My father took a sip of his coffee. “I plan to make an announcement at work tomorrow. Simon doesn’t think it’s wise to wait any longer. We need to be fair to the workers. If any of them are fearful about the prospect of a new owner, they will be free to seek other employment. Though I hope that doesn’t happen, there may be some who are unwilling to risk the possibility of change.” His shoulders slumped as he leaned back in his chair. “Of course, I’ve been curious about what course of action Nathan might want to take once he hears the news.”

  Leaving the children would be more difficult for me than leaving Nathan, but I didn’t say that to my father. I doubted he would understand. From his earlier comment, I concluded that he and my mother expected Nathan would propose marriage once he heard the news. Did they believe I would marry Nathan in order to remain in Kansas City? Surely they realized I would want to be with them.

  While the children loved me with an unconditional zeal that couldn’t be questioned, my relationship with Nathan ran warm and cold, depending upon his mood. If I said or did something that displeased him, he could remain aloof for days. But when he was satisfied with me, he behaved quite the opposite. While he’d avowed his love for me on two occasions, the declarations had both been made after we’d disagreed and I’d suggested we put an end to seeing each other. To marry Nathan while still unsure of his love for me—or mine for him—would be foolhardy.

  “There’s my work with the children. To leave them . . .” My voice trailed off as I recalled the fun we’d had earlier that afternoon.

  My father nodded. “You should let the director of the orphanage know that you are considering a move so they won’t be surprised if you decide to come with us. Unless, of course, you arrive at another decision after you have prayed.” His lips curved in a lopsided grin. “And after you have spoken to Nathan.”

  In my heart, I was certain of my decision. To be away from my mother during the remainder of her life was unthinkable. If I didn’t go with my parents, I’d forever regret the decision. Yet they had asked me to pray before making a decision, and I intended to honor their request. Maybe God would change my mind. But Nathan? I didn’t think so.

  I wondered what my future would be like in Amana. Women couldn’t be teachers in the colonies, a fact my parents had pointed out to me when they’d told me to seek God’s direction. They didn’t want me stepping into a new life without knowing the truth. And that particular truth caused me more concern than I cared to admit. No matter if it was a fact in history, geography, reading, or arithmetic, nothing gave me greater joy than to see the light of understanding shine in a child’s eyes. I would miss teaching, and I prayed God would somehow fill that
void in my life.

  Chapter 3

  I startled when the doorbell rang. After supper I’d gone to my room to read the Bible and pray. I’d promised my parents I would seek God’s direction. If they should inquire, I wanted to truthfully tell them I’d kept my word. I didn’t believe God would direct me to remain in Kansas City, but I was trying to remain receptive to the idea.

  Not that I wanted to leave. I was quite content here. Unlike many young women, I’d never been in a hurry to marry, and being single afforded me the opportunity to spend more time with my mother as her health declined. I enjoyed occasional outings with Nathan, and I adored my work with the children.

  Living at home also permitted me the luxury of teaching at the orphanage, where I volunteered my services. I loved the children and would miss them greatly. Each one held a special place in my heart, but I needed to be with my mother during her final days—both for her sake and for mine.

  When the new director of the orphanage arrived in Kansas City, he’d wanted to change my volunteer status, saying it was improper for a teacher to work without pay. But after a cursory review of the orphanage’s budget, he had changed his stance. Unless a replacement could be located, my resignation would leave the orphanage with a limited teaching staff.

  I glanced in the mirror, patted my hair into place, and hurried downstairs as the doorbell chimed for the second time. Over and over, I’d asked Nathan to be patient when he arrived. Since Mother’s condition had worsened, the doorbell could disturb her rest. Yet he continued to ignore my requests.

  Nathan removed his brown felt hat. “You appear troubled.”

  His slicked-down brown hair was a perfect match for his brown eyes, brown hat, brown coat, brown trousers, and brown shoes. I pictured him standing beside a leafless tree and suppressed a smile. In that attire, he’d be a perfect match for the dormant elm in our front yard.